Why I Created Reclaim Your Life: The Programme for Women Who Want Their Lives Back

I've been working with women for over a decade now - holistic therapies, life coaching. And I kept seeing the same pattern repeating itself.

Smart, capable women would come to me completely exhausted. Not just physically tired, but depleted in a way that sleep couldn't fix. They'd look up from the madness of daily life and realise they didn't know who they were anymore beyond what everyone else needed from them.

Some had lost themselves along the way - buried under years of putting everyone else first. Some had never really discovered themselves in the first place - they'd gone straight from being someone's daughter to someone's partner to someone's mother without ever stopping to figure out who they actually were.

Either way, they were done just rolling through doing whatever needed doing. They wanted

their lives to feel like theirs.

The Gap I Kept Seeing

When these women looked for help, here's what they found:

Generic "self-love" programmes full of bubble baths and positive affirmations. Nothing wrong with either of those things, but they don't address the foundations. You can't affirmation your way out of exhaustion caused by terrible sleep and no boundaries.

Therapy that spent months unpacking childhood trauma without providing practical tools for moving forward. Processing has its place - understanding why you're like this can be valuable. But understanding doesn't automatically translate to change. You can know exactly why you people-please and still say yes when you mean no.

Motivational content that made everything sound easy. "Just set boundaries!" "Just prioritise yourself!" As if wanting to do something and knowing how to do it were the same thing. As if decades of conditioning could be overcome with a catchy Instagram caption.

Perfectionist programmes that required complete life overhauls. Quit your job, move to Bali, meditate for two hours daily, green juice for breakfast. Completely disconnected from the reality of women with responsibilities, families, jobs, and lives they couldn't just abandon.

None of it addressed the whole picture. They treated symptoms without building foundations. They offered inspiration without implementation. They promised transformation without acknowledging the discomfort that real change requires.

What I Learned From A Decade of Working With Women

Working with hundreds of women , all super talented and skilled in some way, taught me some uncomfortable truths:

They don't need more motivation. They need practical tools they can actually use in their real lives. Not "visualise your perfect life" - but "here's how to track where your time actually goes and spot the patterns."

They're not broken. They're exhausted from being strong for everyone else for so long that they've forgotten they're allowed to have needs. The problem isn't them - it's that nobody taught them how to live any other way.

Foundations matter more than anyone wants to admit. You can't build a spectacular life on a foundation of four hours of sleep, too much wine, and no boundaries. I know it's boring. I know it's not Instagram-worthy. But sleep, alcohol, movement, food - these things affect everything.

The thinking→feeling→doing link changes everything. Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings drive your actions. If you think "I can't change," you'll feel hopeless, and you'll do nothing. If you think "change is uncomfortable but possible," you'll feel nervous but capable, and you'll take the first step.

They need honest assessment, not toxic positivity. Looking at your life and admitting what's not working is uncomfortable. But you can't change what you won't acknowledge. Pretending everything's fine when it's not is how you stay stuck for another decade.

Why I Structured It This Way

The programme follows a specific journey: Honour & Evaluate → Identify → Build. And there's a reason for that structure.

Assessment comes first because you can't change what you won't acknowledge. You have to look honestly at where you are - all areas, not just the one thing you think is the problem. The Wheel of Life doesn't lie. Neither does tracking where your time actually goes.

Identify what you want before trying to build it. Most women have spent so long doing what everyone else needs that they genuinely don't know what they want. Or they're too scared to admit it because admitting you want something feels selfish. But you can't create a life that feels like yours if you don't know what that even means.

Build the foundations before the fancy stuff. Sleep affects anxiety, mood, energy, decision-making. Your relationship with alcohol affects all of those plus your sleep. Boundaries protect your time and energy. Self-talk shapes how you think about everything. These aren't sexy topics, but they're essential.

The 12-week timeline matters. Six weeks isn't long enough for sustainable change. Six months loses momentum. Twelve weeks is enough time to build new habits, assess what's working, and make adjustments while maintaining forward movement.

The Tone Decision

I could have made this programme sound easy. I could have promised quick fixes and painless transformation. But that would have been lying.

Here's the honest truth:

Assessing your life is uncomfortable. Admitting where you've been people-pleasing is confronting. Changing your relationship with alcohol is hard when you've been using it to cope. Setting boundaries when you've never had them feels terrifying. Changing decades of self-talk patterns takes practice and feels fake at first.

But I won't lie to you about it. I won't tell you that if you just believe in yourself enough, everything will magically work out. I won't tell you that setting boundaries is easy or that people will respect them immediately. I won't pretend this won't be uncomfortable.

Because here's the other truth: rolling through life for another year, another five years, another decade without ever stopping to think about who you are or what you want? That's hard too.

Being exhausted, resentful, and lost because you've been strong for everyone else for so long that you don't even know what you need anymore? That's hard.

Looking in the mirror and not recognising the person looking back? That's hard too.

What Makes This Programme Different

It works WITH your responsibilities, not despite them. You don't have to quit your job or move to Bali. You don't have to abandon your family or burn your life down. This is about reclaiming control within the life you already have.

It addresses the whole picture, not just one thing. Your sleep affects your mood. Your boundaries affect your time. Your self-talk affects your confidence. Your relationship with alcohol affects your anxiety. You can't fix one thing without looking at how it connects to everything else.

It's honest about discomfort and realistic about slip-ups. You will have days when you drink too much, say yes when you mean no, stay up too late scrolling. That's not failure - that's being human. The programme includes a "Slip-Up Recovery Plan" because slip-ups are part of the process, not evidence you're doing it wrong.

80-90% is actually good enough most of the time. Perfectionism isn't about high standards - it's about fear wearing a fancy outfit. Done beats perfect every single day.

It uses authentic voice, not polished professional. This programme sounds like me talking to you over coffee, not like corporate coaching speak. Because real connection happens when you sound like an actual human, not a motivational poster.

The Two Types of Hard

Here's what I tell every woman considering this programme:

Honestly assessing your life is uncomfortable. Changing your relationship with alcohol is hard. Setting boundaries when you've never had them is scary. Changing decades of self-talk patterns takes practice and feels fake at first. Admitting what you want feels selfish when you've spent your life putting everyone else first.

But rolling through life for another year, another five years, another decade without ever stopping to think about who you are or what you want? Being exhausted, resentful, and lost because you've been strong for everyone else for so long that you don't even know what you need anymore? Looking in the mirror and not recognising the person looking back?

That's hard too.

Pick the hard that gets you somewhere, not the one that keeps you stuck.

Why I Created This

Because I've been where these women are. I've looked in the mirror and not known who I was. I've been so busy taking care of everyone else that I forgot I was allowed to have needs. I've said yes when I meant no and then resented everyone for taking what I freely gave.

And I've done the uncomfortable work of reclaiming my life. Not perfectly - I still drink too much sometimes, still say yes when I mean no occasionally, still have days where I feel like I'm barely holding it together.

But I have my life back. Not a perfect life. Not an Instagram-worthy life. Just mine. And that's worth more than I can tell you.

This programme is what I wish had existed when I decided it was time to reclaim my own life. Honest assessment, practical tools, sustainable change. No fluff. No pretending it's easy. No expecting you to quit your life and move to Bali.

Just real work that addresses the whole picture and works with your actual life.

Because you deserve a life that feels like yours. And you're capable of creating it, even when it's uncomfortable.

Reclaim Your Life: 12 Weeks to Rediscover Who You Are and Create Something Spectacular

For women who've realised there's more to life than what they're currently living.

Learn More About The Programme

Alex is a holistic therapist, reflexologist, and life coach with over a decade of experience helping women reclaim their lives. She runs Alexandra Mukosi Mind & Body from her treatment room in Battersea, London.