Becoming Unstoppable: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Embracing Self-Confidence on the Path to Success

This topic is a biggie and deeply personal for me. And I know I'm not alone in this.......the more people I speak to about it, the more people, especially women, have felt it, dealt with it (or not) and recognised it as an un welcome mindset. Imposter syndrome is something many of us can face. In the workplace, socially, even in our personal relationships. It can feel like we're trying to pull the wool over the eyes of our audience. Deceitful, underhand, down right blagging it! It can make us doubt our worth, our successes, it can even make us doubt our own mind! 😬. But we don’t have to live in this cycle of fear and self-doubt. In this post, we'll take a look at what imposter syndrome is, how it can manifest, how it holds us back, and effective strategies to break free of it (sigh of relief). To find out how we can feel confident, empowered, and with a healthy dose of self-worth thrown in.......read on.

Understanding Imposter Syndrome

Ever felt like you shouldn't be where you're at?

Perhaps you've landed the job of your dreams. It's a stretch for your talents and skills but you've made it nonetheless. Yet there's this unshakeable feeling. You don't belong here. You don't deserve this opportunity. Your peers are way more qualified than you and you're just not the right fit. Despite jumping through all the hoops, having all the right answers in the umpteen meetings you've had along the way to get you here, you still don't feel like you belong. SERIOUSLY?!😂

"Comparison is the thief of joy" I read this once (I can't remember where) and it really resonated with me. Constantly comparing ourselves to others is like a three course meal for our imposter persona non grata. Let's take a look at how it inhibits our growth and potential, and how we can starve it of nutrients and take back our confidence and power.

Stay in Your Lane!

How Imposter syndrome limits our options and stifles our potential.

1. Limiting Our Ambitions

If we see ourselves as an imposter, we tend to remain in our safe place. Whether that's not going for that promotion, not returning to the world of work after the children have all left home, not joining that pilates class or running club, though we know it's just what we need to feel better about ourselves.This sense of not belonging, not being worthy, not fitting in, holds us back in so many ways. From preventing us elevating our careers to reducing our opportunities to experience new activities and meet new people. We feel the fear, and that's it, the brakes are on. We stay in our well known, comfortable, predictable world, where we feel safe.

2. Undermining Our Achievements

When I start working with a new client, one of the first things we do is to take an inventory of their talents and skills. It's incredible just how much we take for granted our accomplishments and successes, and have a habit of downplaying them, for want of sounding boastful maybe? But this mindset reinforces and emboldens our imposter. Repeatedly reinforcing the message that we have achieved our success through luck rather than merit, that we shouldn't feel confident to grow further, thereby compounding feelings of lack. Lack of talent, lack of knowledge and experience, lack of self worth, lack of confidence, lack of empowerment.

3. Increasing Anxiety

If we're constantly battling with these thoughts of lack and inadequacy, it can heighten our already elevated anxiety levels. This can lead to a perpetuating cycle of seeing an opportunity, feeling the fear, listening to the doubting Thomas voice in our heads and retreating to our safe place. But, we can choose to confront this anxiety, frightening and counter-intuitive as it may feel, and break free from the cycle of self-doubt.

Cultivating Self-Worth and Self-Belief

Conquering imposter syndrome requires an active effort to build our self-worth and confidence. Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

A great start is to recognise and name your feelings. Admitting that you're struggling with self-doubt is the first step toward overcoming it. Journaling your thoughts can help you process and clarify those feelings, providing an outlet for your emotions. Embracing your vulnerability connects you with your authentic self, thereby creating genuine connection with others. By sharing our challenges and fears, we can reduce their power ...... a problem shared is a problem halved as they say!

2. Catch it. Challenge it. Change it.

Question everything when it comes to the imposter narrative! Is there any real evidence to support your belief that you don't belong. Go through all your skills and talents. I bet they stack up pretty well and you can find enough evidence in your inventory to prove your worthiness. Surround yourself with people you know recognise you for all you bring to the table, those who build you up and who you in turn, can support with your wealth of experience.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

Recognise all your wins, no mater how small they may seem, and celebrate them. It could be anything, like having a meal out without company, taking you out of your comfort zone and building self confidence. Maybe joining a local exercise class to improve your fitness, or finally going for that promotion at work. Just placing yourself in the running is an achievement in itself when you've sat on the sidelines for so long. Progress is progress, regardless of the final outcome.

Managing Anxiety and Moving Beyond Imposter Syndrome

Regardless of how deeply ingrained imposter syndrome feels, small, consistent, actionable steps can help manage anxiety in order for you to move forward.

1. Practice Mindfulness

Incorporating mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can really help alleviate anxiety. Staying present allows you to detach from what can be an overwhelming narrative, and give you the mental space to recognise your intrinsic worth. Even if it's only 3 minutes a day, carving out this little bit of time each day to connect to self can be extremely grounding and provide a sense of calm we can take with us wherever and whenever.

2. Talk the Talk, Walk the Walk

Sometimes, speaking with a therapist or coach can provide valuable insights. Recognition of thoughts and behaviours that could be holding you back. We have the opportunity to reframe our thoughts, create a new story for ourselves and our future. Nothing is set in stone, we can literally do anything, so start thinking and behaving as your future self would.

Professional support can guide you through your feelings and equip you with the tools needed to build your confidence in order to live life fully.

3. Getting Clear on The Future

Drafting a clear plan for your goals and life aspirations can help bring structure and clarify your path to success. Whether that's a vision board or a personal development plan, getting clear on how you see your future self can reduce feelings of overwhelm, allowing you to focus on realistic achievable steps toward the life you want to live. Don't hold back! See where your imagination takes you, you might be surprised!

A Personal Journey Towards Empowerment

Overcoming imposter syndrome is an ongoing journey that requires time, self-compassion, and commitment. By understanding its impact on our lives, we can start dismantling the barriers that hold us back and begin to reframe our thoughts. Embracing our self-worth may feel unnatural at the start and addressing our anxieties will bring about feelings of discomfort for sure, but in the long term, empowers us to flourish.

We're all navigating this path of self-discovery, No one has all the answers all the time, though it may sometimes seem like some people have it all figured out! Realistically, it's just not the case, so remember not to compare yourself and your circumstances to anyone else! Let's support each other, lift each other up and share our experiences. And let's celebrate our strengths and successes along the way.

With Love

Alex

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